These are people who have really, really, really pissed us off! (They're such w**kers they're probably proud of it.) Spammers go get 'em!

Forthcoming apologies and admissions of guilt will appear on this page, although we're unlikely to totally forgive you or remove you from this page, unless you buy us several pints (each).

Andy, Bar Manager, Olivers, Malvern

This guy is the most obnoxious bar steward Duke has ever met. He spends his business meetings pathetically bragging about conquests, cars, drink, dodgy substances and other symptoms of inferiority in an offensive monologue. He loses promotional material, and expects Candy Channel to do a lunchtime gig for nothing as an audition to play in his poxy bar! Dream on, loser, we're off to headline the Monmouth festival! You can try to see us at Scallywags down the road if you like, but the bouncers probably won't let you in.

Les (Uberbabe/Paul from Beatless)

This sad git used the money from our shared gig to produce promotional posters which had his band name in huge letters and ours so small you needed a magnifying glass. Les, oh Les, this is such a cheap trick, and we thought you had more class than that. Such a charming front, but actions always speak louder than words, and your actions were those of a mean-minded, fearful, megalomaniac. The rest of the band are great guys, why do they put up with you?

Queen B

Who all, except their lead singer, mimed to their backing tape at University College Worcester. We know cos one of us was on the desk.  It's total pants to con the public and, even worse, give all us real musicians a bad name. Sherrie is sick of people assuming she's miming. And it's YOUR FAULT!!! Learn to play!